Personal Pronouns
What Are They?
"In English, whether we realize it or not, people frequently refer to us using pronouns when speaking about us. Often, when speaking of a singular human in the third person, these pronouns have a gender implied -- such as “he” to refer to a man/boy or “she” to refer to a woman/girl. These associations are not always accurate or helpful."
Why Do We Care?
As an Open and Affirming Congregation, we affirm the dignity, worth, importance, and personal gifts of all people—inclusive of gender, sexual orientation, age, race, ethnic background, marital status, economic circumstance, and/or difference of ability. As we continue to learn and grow in understanding, we pledge to provide a safe, supportive community in which all persons—as they share in worship, fellowship, and leadership—may find the guidance and love of God in their lives.
"Using someone’s correct personal pronouns is a way to respect them and create an inclusive environment, just as using a person’s name can be a way to respect them."
Examples
"Some examples of personal pronouns and how to use them:
She/Her: “She is a writer and wrote that book herself. Those ideas are hers. I like both her and her ideas."
He/Him: “He is a writer and wrote that book himself. Those ideas are his. I like both him and his ideas."
They/Them: “They are a writer and wrote that book themself. Those ideas are theirs. I like both them and their ideas.” Please note that although “they” pronouns here are singular and refer to an individual, the verbs are conjugated the same as with the plural “they” (e.g., “they are”). Also note that in this singular pronoun set many use “themself” rather than “themselves,” although both are typically acceptable.
• Ze/Hir: “Ze is a writer and wrote that book hirself. Those ideas are hirs. I like both hir and hir ideas.” Please note that “ze” is usually pronounced with a long “e” and that “hir” and its forms are usually pronounced like the English word “here.” Some people instead go by "ze/zir" pronouns because of the more consistent pronunciation and spelling.
No Pronouns - Use My Name (example for someone whose name is “Lan”): “Lan is a writer and wrote that book. Those ideas are Lan’s. I like both Lan and Lan’s ideas.” If the reflexive component was important to communicate a message, you could use alternative language such as “Lan wrote that book unassisted” or “Lan was the sole author of that book.” Some might simply say "Lan wrote the book Lan's self."
For More Information
Pronouns.org is an excellent easy to understand and brief guide to personal pronouns, how to use them, and why they matter.